Welcome to the new fifth instalment of the Weekly Hat. It’s strange how, this week, I went from having too little material to too much in… seconds, more or less. So join us in a short journey through things that have happened, things I have done and odd combinations of both. I have to run out more or less as soon as I’ve published this, so the ramble ends… more or less now.

Contents are equal to…

• Main feature: Government mess up social media! If they can’t defeat Facebook settings, how will they defeat terrorists?
• An itching, burning sensation: It’s been really, really hot this week, if you haven’t noticed… Luckily, help is here!
• And now sports: More about Wimbledon. Last time, we promise.
• Look what happened! Some stories that deserved repeating, even if they didn’t deserve their own segment.
• Media and stuff: Went to some gigs, read a magazine! No TV!
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: The sun has got its hat on! (No, seriously.)
• Next week: I’m going to keep doing this. Sorry.

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Good morning. It’s 9:40 in the AM, and I’m just pasting text into the editor that lives up the backside of the Behatted blog for the sixth episode of The Weekly Hat. It’s been an unusually exciting week for Behatted’s real world-based cousin, as we’ve obtained both http://www.weeklyhat.com and http://www.theweeklyhat.com and pointed them all at our luscious new Weekly Hat homepage. All in the name of providing easy access to the Weekly Hat for people who can’t stand those stupid comic thingies.

Oh, the Weekly Hat also now has its own RSS feed and Twitter account, for domain-squatting purposes if nothing else. I’m not sure how much use the Twitter account will get, as my brain hurts enough just keeping something going on my personal account and my Behatted account, but there will at least be announcements of new releases and so forth.

Anyway, I shall shut up with the internet rubbish. Time to outline the contents of this week’s ladle of warmed-over jokes…

• Lead feature: Celebrity phone-hacking: A candidate for primetime ITV, surely?
• Dying in colour: One last time for Mister Jackson, then I promise I’ll never mention him again. If only the mainstream media would do the same.
• Media and stuff: A two part extravaganza this week…
  • The cricket-pop of the Duckworth Lewis Method: New band! New album! I saw them live!
  • Torchwood of Earth: The worst science fiction programme on television returns, and… is quite good. Uh-oh.
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: No sports section this week, but we can still cheer on our boys.
• Next week: The future is cloudy. (With chances of rain.)

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Hello.

This seventh Weekly Hat comes to you live from Peckham, and I’ve basically taken all day to write this, so I hope you all appreciate it. Stuff has happened this week, and where better to read about it than on a site created to host amateurish hat-basedwebcomics?

Exactly. This is the best thing ever.

Oh, quick shout-out to long-time Friend Of Behatted, Ali Hale, who has both relaunched her Aliventures webpage, and more importantly, included a link to my ‘Choose Your Own Tube Strike’ piece from the second Weekly Hat. To be fair, it was pretty awesome.

This week, however, should be good too…

• Lead feature: Is swine flu still amusingly impotent? Or is it time to stop giggling and soil ourselves?
• Britain attacks Brazil with overflowing skip: Our fine nation debuts a bold new approach to democracy: Sending our used condoms to other countries without telling them.
• And now sports: Cricket! As I write this, we’re actually winning!
• Media and stuff: Another two parter…
  • I have been watching: Yours truly attends his first ever TV recording, and it was good.
  • Half Blood, Half Hormones: I’ve also seen the new Harry Potter film.
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: A magical guest this week! (Christ, I sound like a chat show host.)
• Next week: Desperation begins to set in down here.

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Hello.

If you take a careful look at this week’s Weekly Hat, you may note it is a shade shorter than usual. Although, to be fair, it’s still around 1,500 words, which is a few. But yes, after finding that producing this and Behatted is sucking every drop of free time I have, I’ve decided forcing myself to cover three news stories a week was a bit much. I have novel manuscripts to edit that I’ve been ignoring for too long. However, I do enjoy doing this, and it shall carry on. Just not at quite as much length.

(Not to mention, the news at the moment isn’t all that inspiring. When looking for topics, I have the choice of… swine flu? Or Michael Jackson? Or MP expenses? Or how about some swine flu or Michael Jackson?)

So, what’s in the new, improved, slightly shorter Weekly Hat?

• Politics, as usual: The Norwich by-election may be the most exciting thing ever to happen. (Not really.)
• They keep killing: Some other news stories, covered in short shortness, as most of them have been done before.
• Media and stuff: Moon? Season Of Secrets? Horehound? Posthumous advertising by Bob Monkhouse?
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: The ‘Next week’ section may have gone, but this bit is forever.

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Hello.

The ninth Weekly Hat, then, ready for anther busy week. I considered covering the epic story of David Cameron saying he won’t join Twitter because “too many twits might make a twat”, but I thought that would get a bit samey after I covered Tory politics last week. However, his defence that he wasn’t aware “twat” was a swearword was fairly laughable. It’s taking quite a lot of willpower not to end this paragraph by calling him a twat. Because, well, how was I meant to know it was offensive? What about “cunt”? Can I say that?

Aaaaanyway. Here’s what we are covering today…

• Fear, In Itself: Terrorism makes a long-overdue comeback, but this time it’s reassuring. Except not really.
• And now sports: Michael Schumacher returns to F1! People play cricket!
• Media and stuff: Danny Wallace + Florence + The Machine + Psychoville
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: + The Machine (this joke will never get old)

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