Welcome, all, to the third Weekly Hat. This week has, sadly, not been the most exciting one ever in terms of obvious news I can mock, but thanks to the release of the Digital Britain, I can cover up for the lack of news with a lengthy lead feature about, yes, the internet.

Whereas the newspapers did a pretty cruddy job of covering the lack of news. On Wednesday, the Daily Mail devoted their entire front page to Britain’s outrage at having three wheelie bins in their gardens. No, seriously, it was the stupidest thing I’d seen in a while. The Sun, that day, decided to dig up the Baby P storyline, in the belief that they could flog that dead toddler horse a tiny bit longer.

But never mind, I hear we may find out the identity of the Stig on Top Gear tonight. I considered delaying publication so I could cover this, then realised that was stupid.

Contents?

• Main feature: The government loves the internet. The internet hates the government. The entertainment industry hates them both. How can this love triangle be resolved?
• And now sports: Hateful, apathetic coverage of Formula 1, in advance of today’s British Grand Prix.
• Bit of a Blur: In a genuine dream-come-true moment, I attended a Blur secret gig in London this week. Did it live up to my hopes? Could it ever?
• Media and stuff: The movie of Coraline! The corpse of Captain America! The death of Primeval! The presses are stopped!
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: Already, celebrities are lining up not to mention this feature anywhere.
• Next week: Predictions so accurate, you’ll wonder how I do it without a time machine or magic 8-ball.

A Weekly Hat so packed, I actually wrote something and then cut it out. (Read on to find out what!) And don’t worry, Twitter users, the whole Iran thing is mentioned… at least twice.

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Good morning, all. It’s midday on Sunday, and that means it must be time for your weekly dose of Weekly Hat. (Note: It probably won’t be mid-day by the time I’ve finished pasting in all the content.) I tried really hard to come up with a lead feature that wasn’t Michael Jackson for today, but to be honest, it was always going to happen. I think it’s a decent piece, at least, and my desire not to repeat other people too much did at least constrain my normal ridiculous rambling length.

For those of you who rely on The Weekly Hat for your media dose, you should probably note that, as ever, we are focusing on the stuff that I can be lightly derisive about without being accused of massive offense or trying to destablise a regime. If you want deadly serious news about dead babies and so forth, you should probably go and read a deadly serious news site.

For the rest of the world, who just wanna have fun, here’s what we have for you this week…

• Main feature: How will the media cope with the death of Michael Jackson? Will their desire to speak ill of him re-emerge by Sunday morning? Of course it will has.
• And now sports: Wimbledon, predictably. Considering how much I despise sport, it’s alarming how regular a feature this has become.
• I’m not at Glastonbury: But I’m not bitter.
• Media and stuff: I went to an underground comics show, watched Psychoville and Top Gear, then listened to some offensive music.
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: Another in-depth exploration of the man-hat interface.
• Next week: The future is murky. Speak, oracle.

Good stuff, innit.

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A slightly late Hat this week. I’d love to say it’s because I’ve been out experiencing something to write about, but… no, I’ve just been busy with tedious old real life. Sorry.

Oh, in case anyone’s interested, I’ve recently started doing some articles on random topics for Suite101. Check it out. My profile is here (and also now linked from the sidebar of this site), and anything I do should be linked there. I warn you, some topics may be re-used between here and there, but they force me to be slightly less anecdotal, flippant and offensive.

Now, this week’s material…

• Here is the news (now pay up): The evil Murdoch empire wants us to pay to read the work of professional writers. How crazy is that?!
• And now sports: We’re really not doing well at cricket this week.
• Media and stuff: Taking The Flak! Dexter! Weird Al!
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: Mr Yankovic, come on down!

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So, this is among the latest Weekly Hat posts ever, but in my slight defence, I got back from holiday last night and have spent most of today (with a few quite lengthy breaks) writing the damn thing. You’ll be happy to hear that I should be available to do this on time for the next few weeks. Score. And I was also glad to see that the automated postings I set up for last week’s Weekly Hat and Behatted comics actually worked.

Thank you all for being about. Now, as I’m tired and have still more Behatted tasks to do before I can lie down, on with the contents…

• Private eduction buys a photocopier: Apparently education costs money. But it could cost more!
• And then I went to Ireland…: A slightly bloggy holiday-based interlude.
• Media and stuff: New TV! New Aqua! New danger!
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: Amazed I haven’t done this one before, really.

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