Hello.

The ninth Weekly Hat, then, ready for anther busy week. I considered covering the epic story of David Cameron saying he won’t join Twitter because “too many twits might make a twat”, but I thought that would get a bit samey after I covered Tory politics last week. However, his defence that he wasn’t aware “twat” was a swearword was fairly laughable. It’s taking quite a lot of willpower not to end this paragraph by calling him a twat. Because, well, how was I meant to know it was offensive? What about “cunt”? Can I say that?

Aaaaanyway. Here’s what we are covering today…

• Fear, In Itself: Terrorism makes a long-overdue comeback, but this time it’s reassuring. Except not really.
• And now sports: Michael Schumacher returns to F1! People play cricket!
• Media and stuff: Danny Wallace + Florence + The Machine + Psychoville
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: + The Machine (this joke will never get old)

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Hi there.

The house move was successful and I come to you from my new room. Admittedly, I have a very restricted amunt of floor space due to the city of boxes that surround me, but I did at least successfully make my bed and lie in it. At 5:30AM after a couple of false starts.

So, now that we’ve got past that interruption, a quick alert for next week’s reason why the Weekly Hat might be late: I am on holiday from next Saturday until the following one. And hence, I will need to get the Weekly Hat pre-prepared to an even greater extent than usual. It should be possible, but will require planning. And the one after that… may be very late, very short or very non-existent. We’ll see.

But for now, this week’s well-timed burbles:

• Liquid Love: Terrorists arrested! Destroy my chances of having a drink on a plane! Ages ago! Trial recently! Thus current!
• Utter balls?: Derren Brown predicts the lottery. And then pretends he actually did predict the lottery.
• Media and stuff: Theatre! Rap! Facebook! How unusual!
• Behatted Photo Of The Week: A reward for a true winner. Well, if you count featuring here as a “reward”.

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